In an era defined by constant connectivity and relentless productivity, work-life balance has become a coveted yet elusive treasure. Tune in as Penny Zenker sits down with Robert and Kay Lee Fukui, the dynamic duo behind i61, inc. and authors of Tandem: The Married Entrepreneurs’ Guide for Greater Work-Life Balance. Robert and Kay Lee share their insights on creating a fulfilling life without compromising professional goals. They share their experiences on managing creative breaks, leveraging quality over quantity in relationships, and reclaiming time from the ever-encroaching demands of technology. Learn how to balance a thriving business with a fulfilling personal life through this engaging episode.

Balance your business and marriage better: https://build.marriedentrepreneur.co/balance-business-marriage-better

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Redefining Work-Life Balance: Quality Over Quantity With Robert & Kay Lee Fukui

Introduction

Welcome to the show. We are looking to help you to work smarter to find that life balance that you’re so desperately seeking. We have experts with us that are going to help shed some new light on that. Robert and Kaylee Fukui are Cofounders of i61 Inc., a business consulting company. They assist married entrepreneurs in creating work-life balance by structuring the business to scale while giving precious time back to the owner to invest in their marriage. For those of you who aren’t married, you’re going to find some tips here as well, so don’t get hung up on that.

Challenges For Married Entrepreneurs

Together, they’ve developed an innovative consulting program, Power Couples By Design. It equips married entrepreneurs to build thriving marriages and prosperous businesses. They also have authored a book, Tandem: The Married Entrepreneur’s Guide for Greater Work-Life Balance. If married couples can find work-life balance when they’re working together, then anybody can.

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Welcome to the show.

Thanks.

Thank you for having us. Relationships are relationships whether you’re married or not.

They’re harder. There’s even more that you’re bringing to the table whether you’re married or whether you are siblings. That can be the case when you’re running the business together with other family members. We’re more easily hurt, more sensitive, and more vulnerable, I believe, to the people that are closest to us. Maybe we start there. What are some of the differences and challenges that you see from married couples and families working together versus people who aren’t connected in that way?

The common denominator is relationships. Regardless if you’re married or not, you’re working with your spouse or you’re not working with your spouse, you’re working with your sibling, your parents, or whatever, it always boils down to relationships. The health of the relationship in your business will dictate the trajectory and the growth of the business.

The quality of our relationships determines the growth of our business. Share on X

Regardless if you’re single or married or working together or not, this is a key issue. Having balance is something that’s challenging for a lot of people because there’s a lack of understanding. There’s a myth that when you’re talking about building a business, the common message out there is you have to sacrifice your personal life to grow a business, and we believe it.

Everybody’s saying it. Everybody talks about how you have to grind, how you’ve got to put in your time, and things like that. Are you saying that’s not true and we don’t have to do that?

Not if that’s not the way you want to live. The only reason why entrepreneurs are in the grind or get caught up in the grind and say, “We got to do this,” is because you feel the weight of the business on your shoulders. Everything lives and dies by you. Since you feel that pressure, you feel like you’ve always got to be on.

There’s too much research both on the productivity side and the health side that says that the human body has to have periods of rest in order to be at peak performance, both physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. If you don’t do that, things are going to fall and things are going to fail. We’ve got to stop believing a lie. You’re all about productivity and taking back your time. It’s how you accomplish more without working more.

Tell us. How do we do that? There is pressure. The markets are changing. With that change, there’s more competition. There are all of these pressures that these entrepreneurs are facing. What’s your top tip? We’ll get to some of the other ones, but what’s the number one thing? If we stop the show, what’s the one thing you have to make sure that everybody hears?

From a business perspective and even a life perspective, it is to increase your margin of time and money. For the time piece, like for business, instead of 1 sell at a $5,000 price point, what about 1 sell at a $10,000 price point? I got off the phone with a painter. He’s three years in business and doing pretty well but his cashflow is not very good.

I said, “Why don’t we get your average sales price or sales average contract from $6,000 to $7,000 or $8,000? That means your revenue’s going to be bigger without having to do more work.” That increase is not just time margin but profit margin because you’re not having to grind out and go from 1 job to another, maybe 2 jobs, to get equal the cost of 1 job. If you take a step back and think about margin, then we’re on the right track.

The Importance Of Stepping Back

I want to talk to the point where you said take a step back. I’m celebrating in September 2024 that my new book, The Reset Mindset, is coming out. One of the steps of the reset practice is to step back. We’re so lost in what we’re doing. The second step is we don’t have perspective. It helps us when we step back to get perspective so that we can, number three, realign around the most important thing. What I’m hearing you say, if nothing else, is to step back, look at your business, look for the opportunities of margins, and then realign and focus around where you can increase margin. That’s going to be your biggest and quickest win.

It tells you where to start.

I agree with that. I used to do a lot of executive coaching. I come from that same mindset, to step back and look at what is the greatest use of your time and money. The first thing would be to increase the margin. What can you do with more money when you have more cashflow? You can also get more people to support you to take more things away from you so that you can delegate more. You have even more time available. You can focus on the things that matter most for your work.

An example is that we love going to the beach. We have a weekly meeting, the two of us. He said, “Why don’t we go to the beach and have our meeting?” It was so nice to get away. We still had the meeting, but we were in a different atmosphere. We came up with some great ideas that we probably wouldn’t have if we were at home doing the same old things. Sometimes, it’s nice to get a break or a rest. You’d be surprised how the creativity will come back to you.

 

I love what you’re saying. I want to even stay there for a second. Changing our environment is huge. You were going to have the meeting, so you weren’t fully resting. Changing the location can make a huge difference in creating that reset and recharging or generating more creativity. Did you find yourself more creative on the beach there?

Definitely. We came up with some great ideas for the rest of 2024. We were like, “This is nice.” In a sense, it was a little rest for us because it’s something we both enjoy and energizes us. It makes us feel good. It’s our happy place.

You look at the psychology research around this. I’m not going to say rest because when you say rest, people think they’re sleeping or taking a nap. When you’re more in a peaceful state, you are more creative. The research shows that when you are more creative and more innovative, that’s when your mind is going crazy. If we stayed at home but had our meeting, in that familiar environment, we feel like we’re in that grind. We’re more thinking about the things at hand as opposed to being more forward-looking and more creative.

What would you say? How often should people change their space and get out of their daily workspace?

I would say probably at least once a week. Our weekly meetings are at a coffee shop anyway, so we always get out of our space on a weekly version. In 2023, we tried to do once a month for our weekly meeting to go to the beach. We haven’t done it as much this 2024. That’s why it was good that we finally got to do it this summer. We try to do a once-a-month, “Let’s get out of that space,” to change it up. To each its own. You’ve got to come into a regular cadence. At least once a week, even if it’s for an hour or an hour and a half, change your environment and think, journal, brainstorm with your team or with your partner, or whatever it is. That’s always helpful. I’ve never heard anyone say that it wasn’t helpful.

We even do the quarterly getaways. Robert’s really good about putting it on the calendar. If it was up to me, it wouldn’t happen because I’m like, “It’s a good idea. We’ll do that.” He puts it on the calendar so it happens. Our family puts it on the calendar. It doesn’t seem to magically appear.

Redefining Work-Life Balance

I don’t think that’s just for your family. If I don’t put it on the calendar, other things tend to take up that space. It’s Parkinson’s law. Whatever you have is going to gobble up everything and every space unless you are more mindful and intentional about how you’re using it. Talking about that work-life balance, coming back to that as a point, what do you think are some of the ways that we can approach work-life balance maybe differently than the way we have in the past?

When we say the word work-life balance, you get all kinds of stuff and emotions. First, we have to define it. It’s not measured by quantity. It’s not a quantitative measurement. It’s a qualitative measurement. It’s quality, not quantity. It’s not about how much time you put in here or there. It’s about the quality of time. The business, in order for it to grow or thrive, you need to spend quality time in it. Not spend all your time, but quality time. On the personal side, your relationship, it’s also quality time.

We tend to overestimate how much time it takes on both ends, both business and marriage relationships, in order for it to thrive. Especially on the relationship side, we think it’s going to take eight hours a day or something like that. We have to have this storybook relationship, and we spend all this time at home.

When you look at even the psychology research, John and Julie Gottman are big marriage and family therapists. They talk for about five minutes a day with their spouse. It’s intentional time, not five minutes. You’re on the phone, in between meals, or whatever. You sit down, look eye to eye, say positive affirmations, and ask, “How can I serve you?” If you do that every day, you’re going to stay connected and feel loved and appreciated. You’ll know how to serve your spouse. It goes both ways.

I agree with that. I question whether five minutes is enough to serve your spouse. Is there anything there from your experience or from what they talk about on how you are to do that in as little as five minutes?

It’s not to say that’s the only time you spend. We’re talking about quality time. That quality time sets the tone for the relationship and how I can serve her during the day or so she serves me.

 

You’re tuning in. You’re giving five minutes to tune into each other.

That’s because we don’t do that.

Hopefully, it turns into more than five minutes, but you’re starting with five minutes. It’s like, “I want to see how your day is. How are you doing?? Hopefully, once your partner starts opening up to you, you give them a little bit more time than that.

We’re talking about what’s the bare minimum or they’re talking about what’s the bare minimum. We’re peers in our business and our life where it’s going to be busier than others. There’s no going around. It’s not to say we’re trying to design your life so it’s always the same every day that it’s like Groundhog Day. That’s not what we’re saying. We’re saying regardless of how busy life and business can get, what is that quality moment in time you can give to each other and your kids every day?

Amid busy life and business, it’s crucial to find that quality moment each day for your spouse and kids—five minutes is not a lot, but it’s impactful. Share on X

Five minutes is not a lot. In fact, we had a multi-billionaire on our show a while back. He’s also a big entertainment lawyer. He talks about how every morning, he talks to his wife, calls his mom, and gives each of his 3 kids 5 minutes. I’m on the other end going, “That’s not a lot.” It’s like what you’re thinking. He said, “I allot five minutes. They gave me three.” He’s giving more time than is needed. The thing is that the kids know that Dad is available. That’s the key thing. It wasn’t the amount of time. It was the quality

We can put the phone down. We can give you our complete attention. We’re present there. We’re not thinking, “I got laundry to do. I got all this work.” It’s active listening.

It’s tuning into one another. That’s an art. With all the phones, notifications, and everything that’s vying for our attention, it’s important that you’re tuning into each other.

Since you talked about phones, we have more control over our time than we give ourselves credit for. Phones and notifications are off. At dinnertime, it’s off. In fact, we don’t even bring the phone to the dinner table. You keep it in the office, the drawer, or whatever. It’s those little things. We’re like Pavlov’s dog when it comes to electronics and notifications. When it rings, no matter what we’re doing, we need to pick up. We need to answer.

I need to keep checking 100 times a day. I’m like, “Did I get a text?”

It’s an addiction. It is what it is. The dopamine release creates a chemical addiction.

I remember I do Saturdays as my Sabbath on electronics. No phone, no social media, and all that stuff. I remember the first Saturday I did this, I got cold sweats after a couple of hours. You want to pick up the phone but you say, “I’m not supposed to.” I don’t know what I’m expecting. It’s like I’m going to miss some important thing. At the end of the day though, you’re like, “That was nice.” I took a couple of weekends for it to be natural and not have that jittery feeling. It’s amazing how much control we can take back if we allow ourselves to do that.

Time as well.

Future Of Work-Life Balance

What do you think is different going forward? We’ve got our phones. We’ve got the technology. That’s where we are. Do you see anything changing in the future as to how work-life balance looks different in the future since we’re working at home and the boundaries are down?

It will mean more competition for our time. I don’t think we appreciate work-life balance. Being with each other, going on trips, resting, and being at peace, that part doesn’t change as far as our body’s physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual needs. The competition for that time is going to change as technology, life, and the world will change. There’s more competition.

Electronics, phones, computers, apps, and all that are things that are supposed to make our lives easier, and yet, we consume more of it and it’s taking up more of our time. We use apps, AIs, and stuff for business and all that. If I’m not careful, and I’ve already slipped down this road before, and I subscribe to one thing after another, and I’m using so much stuff and so much technology, it will take up more time because I’m getting addicted to technology. The change that’s going to happen is more about what’s competing for your time.

Technology is taking up more of our time because we’re becoming addicted to it. Share on X

What we’re seeing over time is fewer structures that support us. Those are transitions that we used to have that we don’t have anymore, whether it’s the commute to the office or the cubicles. We had spaces for ourselves that were protective. It falls back on us. It’s up to us to set those boundaries, and we’re terrible at setting them. We’re going to have to become good at setting those boundaries. Otherwise, it’s going to get worse. That’s a big challenge.

Reset Mindset

We’re coming to the end of our time. I don’t even know where it’s gone. I ask every guest this as I’m launching this new book of mine to get different perspectives. Without having much knowledge of what the concept is, how would you define a reset mindset, and why is that important to entrepreneurs and their businesses?

The first thing that comes to mind is that a reset mindset is almost taking a step back. It’s almost like you click the reset button on your phone or whatever. A lot of times, we need to do that because we get married to our own ideas. When we get married to our ideas, our thinking, and all that, limited growth happens.

We get so much clutter that that starts to slow a RAM down, to talk about computer analogy or metaphor. The reset is almost doing that factory reset. It’s putting things back into the factory norm that allows more bandwidth and even more space to take on better information or a better way of doing life and doing business. That’s the first thing that came to mind.

That’s great. I love it.

Give yourself some rest so that you can get into that place where you can look at things from a different perspective. I do a lot of journaling to try and do that myself. Before, you might be upset about something, and then you start journaling and you’re like, “Let’s try and look at this from a different point of view or maybe try and get up above it and see how else we could do this.”

Closing

It’s such a simple question but so powerful. It’s like, “Could we look at this? How else could we do this?” Tell me where people can find out more information about you and your programming.

They can go to our website, MarriedEntrepreneur.co. Everything’s there, our book, Tandem: The Married Entrepreneur’s Guide for Greater Work-Life Balance, and our podcast, Thriving in Tandem. If you’re looking for help, our coaching packages are in there as well. You can schedule a complimentary discovery call.

With our book, you can get the first chapter for free if you go to TheTandemBook.com.

 Thank you guys so much for being here.

Thanks for having us. Thanks for the great questions.

Thank you so much.

Thank you all for being here. There are a couple of important things for you to reflect on about how that can support you. Are you focusing on the margins of your time and your money? Whether you’re running a business or whether you are a leader in an organization or even a parent at home, these are still relevant in terms of what’s “margin” for you.

What were your takeaways? What’s one thing that you can put into practice that can help you feel more balanced? Maybe it’s getting out of the office once a week. Do that while you’re working on your business or on your family. Get out of that space where maybe some of the stresses and the pressures lie and find yourself a little bit freer. Whatever it is for you, write it down and put it into action. That’s how you’re going to see results, which is what I call a reset moment at a time. Thank you all for being here. This is the show. We’ll see you in the next episode.

 

Important Links

• i61 Inc.
• Thriving in Tandem
• Power Couples By Design
• Tandem: The Married Entrepreneur’s Guide for Greater Work-Life Balance
• https://Build.MarriedEntrepreneur.co/Balance-Business-Marriage-Better
• https://www.Amazon.com/Tandem-Married-Entrepreneurs-Greater-Work-Life/dp/1953284833

 

About Robert and Kay Lee Fukui

Robert and Kay Lee Fukui are the co-founders of i61, inc., a business consulting company. They assist married entrepreneurs create better work/life balance by structuring the business to scale while giving precious time back to the owner to invest into their marriage.

Robert received his marketing degree from San Jose State University and experienced 25 successful years in sales/marketing with companies such as Coca-Cola, Novartis Pharmaceutical and Bristol-Myers Squibb. He played instrumental roles in the launch of six major brands, directly responsible for over $150 million in revenue and a recipient of national sales and leadership awards. His business acumen allows him to help family businesses build a more profitable, efficient and sustainable company. Kay Lee Fukui earned her business degree from the University of La Verne. She worked in the banking industry for many years and in her family business as operations manager for over 10 years before meeting the love of her life, Robert. She understands the highs and lows of running a family business and the sacrifices the owners make; often at the expense of marriage and family. Her passion is to see marriages flourish in the midst of building a profitable business and to help the entrepreneur couple understand that you don’t have to sacrifice the marriage and family for the business.

Together, they have developed an innovative consulting program, Power Couples by DesignTM, which equips the married entrepreneur to build a Thriving Marriage AND Prosperous Business. They have also authored the book, Tandem: The married entrepreneurs’ guide for greater work-life balance.

 

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