Whatever we do becomes harder when we are resistant. Every effort and energy we put out seems to be magnified when we complain and criticize. Have you ever wondered what the physical cost of resistance is? Resistance hinders us from being present in the moment because we keep choosing that place where we complain, judge, and criticize. Learn how you can take away some nuggets of wisdom in life and in business in a state of resistance.
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The Cost Of Resistance: How Much Are We Paying For It?
We’re going to talk about resistance. We’re going to talk about what it looks like and also what it’s costing us. I’m going to endeavor in a challenge and I’m going to invite you to join me in that challenge. I share more about that, I want to tell you how I came up with this topic. I’ve been in a funk. I’ve been getting up early so that I can work with my development team who’s working on a new upgrade to my software and things haven’t been going well. We haven’t been getting the results that we were expecting and it’s taking a lot longer. Communication is difficult, and it’s left me a little bit frustrated. When we focus on our frustrations and we stay in that place, it affects everything that we do, especially because that’s my first thing in the morning. It taints my day. I didn’t realize the effect that it was having until I went to my workout. I could tell that I wasn’t as resilient. I wasn’t as present. I was feeling drained. When I’m pushed by my trainer, I’m not having that resilience that gets me to lean in to the workout. It’s more of a resistance of me fighting against the workout. I’m using the workout as a metaphor for everything in our life because when we’re in resistance, it makes everything that we do harder. That’s how it relates to Take Back Time because wherever we create resistance, we’re making it harder for ourselves to get things done. We’re making it harder to be happy, to be in a place of joy, to be in a place of peace, to be present.
[Tweet “Wherever we create resistance, we’re making it harder for ourselves to get things done. “] That’s why I wanted to share this because there was a realization. My trainer is a funny guy. He makes training with him with this fun banter back and forth. One of the things that he said to me, because I must’ve been whining a little bit, which is sometimes what we do when we’re feeling drained than when we’re not feeling resilient, he said, “I can rent you my crying towel.” That made me laugh and it also made me think. What would it be if we had to pay every time that we had a complaint? Every time we had a criticism, every time we judge somebody or judged ourselves? All of those things create resistance. When we get defensive, when somebody is sharing feedback, that’s resistance, and all that resistance does is it keeps us from being present. It keeps us from leaning into the situation and going with the flow and finding a solution faster. In this case, being more resilient to do my work-out more effectively and to be there and be present and be in the workout.
I want you to think about that because I thought, “I wonder if I were to have to pay. I had to rent the crying towel and I know that that’s a joke, but I was thinking about it in reality, if we had to pay, would we complain less? Would we judge ourselves less if we had to pay? If it physically came out of our pocket? I want you to know something is we do pay. We pay every day. Whenever we complain, we criticize, we judge ourselves or others, we are paying. There is a cost to us. There’s a cost to our relationship, there’s a cost to our health, there’s a cost to our productivity and our results that we’re creating. When we create that resistance, we’re bringing more of that in. We’re building more and more resistance, which is keeping us from the very things that we want. It is costing us.
This whole thing brought me to a different level of thinking and I said,” What I want to do because I am a little bit in this funk and I want to pull myself out of it, is I want to be more conscious of when I’m going into that unproductive type of thinking or speaking, any type of complaining, criticizing, judging. I want to be aware.”In order to do that, I’m going to take a challenge and I’m going to invite you to join me with this challenge as well. That challenge is I’m going to put a jar on my desk and every time I make a complaint, or I criticize or I judge, I’m going to put a nickel, a dime, a dollar depending on how big it is and how many times I’m doing it. If you’re making the same complaint over and over again, then double the amount that you’re putting in the jar each time so that we can see at the end of the week, how much do we put in that jar. What is it costing us so that it becomes a physical reminder, a visual reminder of what it’s costing us? That could be our health that’s in that jar. That could be ourselves that are deteriorating, that are becoming cancerous because of what we’re feeding it, what we’re feeding our body and our brain. It could be the results that we’re missing. It could be the relationships that are breaking because we do have a cost when we’re not present, when we’re not resilient.
All of these things, they create resistance. These ways of thinking, these ways of being, they create resistance. Our job is to make it what I call in my TEDx that I did, I said, “Making the unconscious conscious.”These are things that happen unconsciously. Our brain is in autopilot and we’re like zombies and we go along with whatever we’re thinking. It’s up to us to take control of our mind and to be deliberate in everything that we do. Deliberate in what we say and what we think so that we can get the results that we want. This is going to help us in this challenge and it doesn’t have to go on for a week, but let’s check in after a week and see how it’s brought that unconscious conscious to see where is it costing you and how is it costing you. Then continue to use that if it’s valuable for you and you could do it as a family, you can do it as a company. This doesn’t have to be contained within yourself.
Open up the challenge to others in your life. Once we create that unconscious and make it conscious, now that awareness allows us to make a change. We can shift it then we recognize ourselves saying those things and we recognize it faster, then we can reframe it and change it faster. Before you know it, the faster you recognize it and the faster you reframe it to something else, then what happens is, it starts to be in lightspeed. Before words come out of your mouth, you’ve already reframed it in your head. Before you make a complaint and say, “This person doesn’t know what they’re doing,” instead of, “Is this person doing the best they can, or this was a misunderstanding?” As opposed to criticizing somebody for doing it on purpose, if that’s what you’re saying. Or judging yourself and saying something to yourself like, “There you did it again.” Maybe you could say, “What did I learn from this?” Very quickly you can take those words of judgment, of resistance, of criticism, of complaining and you can shift them. You can only do that by creating awareness.
[Tweet “Before words come out of your mouth, you’ve already reframed it in your head. “] This challenge is going to help you to create that awareness, to take a look at where you’re creating resistance in your life and open up a new door so that you can get what you want faster, and so you can take back time. That’s the challenge. I look forward to hearing your results. Please do share it on Facebook and contact me. Let me know how this challenge went for you and what it meant for you, for your family, for your business. I’m going to keep you guys informed as well as to what my results were. I can only bring the challenge to you, what you do with it now is up to you. Put it into practice and take back time.